the desert

The word that pops into my head when I hear the word desert is "wildflowers".  I know that many see the desert as desolation, dry, lonely, or hot.  Many can feel the sand in their teeth and the stings of the red ants on their legs.  But I see wildflowers... In the midst of pain, frustration loneliness, god promises us springs in the desert... springs of fizzy water (Arrowhead, Perrier, Pellegrino, Poland Springs, pick your favorite) to keep us hydrated, to keep our immune systems functioning so that we don't dry up and die.

So google California desert wildflowers and look at some of the pictures.  Know that god does not leave us in a dry place........ Know that a time of trial is not forever... the flowers always come back.

A Holy Lent

Many of you know that Lent has, for the past two years, been my least favorite season in the church year. I said to someone last year that I was going to give up church for lent... I wasn't joking.

This year I begrudgingly drove 20 miles to the Ash Wednesday service.  Past experiences with Ash Wednesday services were kind of like observing a train wreck, so this was not something I really wanted to do.  But something drew me there... on the way down I thought about how people are drawn to look a horrible accidents and wondered for a moment if that is why I was going.

The church was dark.  Someone was lighting candles and asked me if I would get a couple more so I did and watched as the space was transformed by the sparkling tea lights placed throughout.  It felt different, peace was tangible not just some abstract idea people talked about.

We sang a Taize  Chant "Laudate Omnes Gentes"  it was beautiful.  The Isaiah reading is one of my favorites  "Is this not the fast I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?  Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and to bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them and not to hide yourself from your own kin?"  We sang Da Pacem Cordium (bring peace to every heart) how appropriate is that?

Now there was a brief moment while the priest was reading the part about "notorious sinners who had been kicked out of church being reconciled" that I thought of the priest who kicked me out of her church when I had already left.  I  wanted  her to feel like shit reading those words to her congregation.  At the same moment I knew she didn't get it and it really didn't matter any more.... I am moving on and am okay.

When we got to the Litany of Penitence I realized that after 5 years of hearing it spoken, and seeing the words on the page,  I had never really heard them.  I only heard "you worthless piece of crap"  but that isn't even close to what it says.  There is hope and joy in God's love:



We confess to you, Lord, all our past unfaithfulness: the
pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of our lives,
We confess to you, Lord.
Our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation
of other people,
We confess to you, Lord.
Our anger at our own frustration, and our envy of those
more fortunate than ourselves,
We confess to you, Lord.
Our intemperate love of worldly goods and comforts, and
our dishonesty in daily life and work,
We confess to you, Lord.
Our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to
commend the faith that is in us,
We confess to you, Lord.
Accept our repentance, Lord, for the wrongs we have done:
for our blindness to human need and suffering, and our
indifference to injustice and cruelty,
Accept our repentance, Lord.
For all false judgments, for uncharitable thoughts toward our
neighbors, and for our prejudice and contempt toward those
who differ from us,
Accept our repentance, Lord.
For our waste and pollution of your creation, and our lack of
concern for those who come after us,
Accept our repentance, Lord.
Restore us, good Lord, and let your anger depart from us;
Favorably hear us, for your mercy is great.
Accomplish in us the work of your salvation,
That we may show forth your glory in the world.


So I guess for the next 40 days I can get over not being able to say "Alleluia, Alleluia" after "thanks be to God"


And the really cool part was singing "Dust in the Wind" after the Eucharist.


I was drawn by the Holy Spirit... She was leading me to a new awareness of Gods love and mercy...

Healing

It's been a long time since my last post.
Much healing has taken place... not always easy..the healing process..