the beginning of the end

In November of last year we had a heavy rainstorm that caused a lot of damage to the interior of the church. There was a leak because for years the maintenance of the roof was neglected. I was Junior Warden, so when I got the call about a leak I went over and found a waterfall coming down a redwood post. There was water everywhere, it was dripping into the sound system, the floor was drenched, and the drywall ceiling was soggy. It's a long story but I finally got the priest to agree to let me call the insurance company and get authorization for emergency roof repair and remediation that day instead of waiting until Monday. I took care of the immediate damage, met with an adjustor, got estimates from contractors, had the electrical system inspected as water had been dripping into an open socket on the floor. I also organized the repair work. Today the church is beautiful, the cracks in the walls and ceilings are repaired, the mold is gone from the bell tower area, and the interior has been painted for the first time in 19 years.

I guess it was in December that the priest started sniping at me. It started subtly with comments about things I had not done, or things I said that she found offensive. In January she invited me out to lunch, which was odd because in 4 years she had never spent any time with me outside of church things we were both at. At that lunch meeting I was told that I was angry and it was "spilling" I asked her what I did or said to make her think that and she said "you walked out the side door of the church the other day and slammed it." Yes I did go out of that door and yes because of the wind it slammed behind me, but I didn't slam the door and I wasn't angry I was going to get something from another building. It didn't happen during a service, people were setting up for a service and standing around talking. Her other complaint was that while I was installing a motion sensor light I told her husband that I didn't need his help and perhaps he might want to set up for the service that was going to start in 20 minutes. I told him that because he was trying to tell me how to install the light, I find it difficult to do something like that with someone distracting me. In addition to my anger I used the word obvious in an email which I guess is a violation of email etiquette, and I didn't use I statements.

The following month I made the mistake of replying to an email in which the Senior Warden was asking for opinions. In that email I wrote something that should have been an I statement but I was lazy and didn't proofread it before I sent it. Surprise, I was called to another meeting. At that meeting she shrieked at me telling me that I had hurt everyone by what I said. She did this in public, she screamed "you are a priest you should know better" Now I am a priest, in The Lindisfarne Community and not it the episcopal church, and she does not recognize me as a priest , I was taken aback.... I shut down, if I hadn't I would have thrown my very hot coffee in her face and screamed back at her.

I knew I was finished, but I had some tasks to do so I did them. I apologized to the people that I had offended and lo and behold 2 of the 4 contacted me and told me they were glad I said what I did, that someone needed to speak up. I started sending every email I sent to anyone in the church to a trusted friend because I was starting to wonder if I was being offensive. I needed feedback.

This is already too long. I will write more later.